Most People Will Never Achieve Their Dreams. The Reason Why Will Surprise You

In the past year I’ve talked to dozens of women that have expressed a desire to change careers, make more money, travel abroad, go back to college, or start their own business. The common emotion I see in them is frustration. They all want more out of their lives. They’re not feeling fulfilled and lack personal growth.

A lot people have aspirations they dream about but sadly most of these people will never achieve those dreams. And it’s not due to lack of inspiration or hard work either.

Here’s the truth. 

Not all of them are ready to make a big change and that will always be the obstacle in their way.

So, what makes a person ready?

Although having the right mindset, putting in the sweat and tears, and stretching outside your comfort zone are all factors in achieving dreams, there’s something that MUST happen first.

Strong Personal Foundation

The precursor to any personal growth is having a strong personal foundation. A personal foundation is the base that keeps you together, keeps you alive, and out of survival mode. The 4 pillars of a personal foundation include money, physical environment, relationships, and health.

Imagine a beautiful house with large windows, new hardwood floors, and freshly painted walls. But, the house is on a hilltop that is starting to slide and part of the house’s foundation is no longer stable. Any day the house will lose its position and come crashing to the ground. No matter how much effort you pour into the actual house, nothing will matter if the house is gone! Only if and when the house is stable does it make sense to decorate and upgrade the furnishings.

The same is true of our personal foundation. Below are some traits of a strong foundation within each pillar.

Money

• I save at least 10% of my income
• I pay bills on time
• I have no legal clouds over me
• My earnings match with the effort I put into my job
• I live well within my means

Physical Environment

• My home is clean and tidy
• My clothes are ironed and clean
• I like where I live
• I am consistently early or on time
• My work environment is productive and inspiring

Relationships

• I get along with my family
• I get along with my coworkers/clients
• I have a circle of friends/family that love and appreciate me
• I do not judge or criticize others
• I spend time with people who inspire me

Health / Well-being

• I rarely eat sugar
• I’ve had a physical exam in the past 3 years
• I walk or exercise at least three times a week
• I get the right amount of sleep
• My weight is within my ideal range

If you're interested, you can complete a free Clean Sweep Assessment here.

Examples of Weak Personal Foundations

Think about a super successful, high-powered attorney that drives a Porsche and lives in a penthouse but has no love life or close friends. He overcompensates by staying late at work each night and surpassing all his clients’ expectations.

Or, imagine the woman who has a wonderful husband, kids that love her and a beautiful little house but suffers from an unhealthy lifestyle and constantly worries about being able to pay the kids’ college tuition AND retire one day. Because her health and money pillars are suffering, she over compensates in the relationship area. She showers her family with love and affection.

Lastly, think about the vegan yoga instructor that lives an ultra healthy lifestyle. She seems so grounded. But if you peeked inside her home, you’d see that her apartment is a mess. She can never find anything and tends to constantly run late. And, although she loves her career and is at peace with who she is, she lives paycheck to paycheck. She avoids money discussions and stays away from anyone wealthy, because she’s convinced they’re all greedy and evil.

All of these people have at least two weakened pillars in their personal foundation. When one of these pillars is weak, you’ll likely compensate in another area. But when you have two pillars suffering, you really become unsteady. If you have three or all four pillars unstable, you are likely functioning in survival mode. 

When someone is in survival mode, they can’t even think about growing and fulfilling their dreams. They’re so consumed with just having their basic needs met. Operating in survival mode means you cannot afford to grow. Growth means uncertainty and you already have enough of that in your life. 

When your personal foundation is strong, you are unstoppable. You’re able to overcome obstacles with more ease and much more quickly. You’re able to take risks that will lead to growth.

If you find yourself with big dreams but end up spinning your wheels, think about your personal foundation. How strong is each pillar in your foundation? Where are you over-compensating? How is this affecting your overall life? Where can you strengthen your foundation?

Call to Action:

Assess your personal foundation. Which part of your life feels unsteady? Once you’ve recognized the pillar(s) that need strengthening, focus there first. Build upon that pillar. Remember, the stronger your roots, the stronger you will be. Feed and take care of your roots. Only then will you grow and blossom to your full potential.

Strong Roots

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Cheers to your success,

Sonia